"Oh yes. So proud. You have a boyfriend and a bunny. You're a real credit to the Malfoy name."--Dragon Tamer

I'm just a little muffin on a griddle, he thought. Toasty warm and...well, probably not about to be spread with cream and jam, but you can't ask for everything. -Draco Malfoy,"Malfoy, The Amazing Bouncing...Rat?" - Maya

"Draco Malfoy gave up fighting it. Harry Potter had the heart of a Slytherin, after all -- his." -Draco Malfoy and the Heart of Slytherin

“Let me put it this way. If I killed everyone that was inferior to myself, who would I be superior to?” – Draco Malfoy (In Or Out by Mechante_Salope)

"I got this when I was almost killed by a werewolf when I was six," Remus said, waving at his own chest.
"I got this when Voldemort killed my parents and tried to kill me," Harry said, gesturing at his forehead.
"I'm a werewolf."
"I'm Harry Potter. That's far worse. I win." Harry tried to give Remus an honest smile, but he felt the corners of his mouth quiver. ~Ill Advice by Maeglin Yedi

'And on the eighth day God said, "O.K. Murphy. You take over.". That's the trick!' Harry Potter – Battlefields By DrusillaDax

"It was a little-known fact that Voldemort wore a Captain Kirk costume underneath his robes far more often than was good for anyone." -"Fireburn and cauldron bubble" by Sushi

'if seers can't do anything to affect what they see, then they're nothing more than the rubbernecking morons driving slow and staring at the pileups on the highway of fate' – Pavarti (The Winding Road by cccarioca)

"I've been called alot of things in my life, but never a vicious, cold-blooded piece of toast"
~From CassieClaire's Fic Draco Trilogy

It’s all witticisms until someone loses an eye ---- SBP Sirius

Sorry, mate, I don’t speak pathetic bastard. Come again? --- SBP Sirius

"Because your father's close personal ties to Lord Voldemort don't cause shame and dishonor to your family?" Dumbledore inquired. "They are very impersonal ties," Draco pointed out haughtily. "A mere exchange of cards at Christmas." -- Something Impossible

"That's the key to magic, Draco," Harry said softly. "You have to really want the results, beyond question or doubt. Everything else is flair." "Draco Malfoy & the Heart of Slytherin" by Saber

The chain was not there for show; it really was to stop him doing what he'd been told not to, since when it came to sex Harry had the self control of a rabbit on Viagra. – A Little Problem Of Someone Else’s Virginity, by Beren

"It all started during the hols when Harry met Emily. I've got no idea what to do, Remus. He knows that its wrong but he still does it. What should we do?"
"I've got no idea, let me think on it tongiht Hermione and I'll get back to you on it tomorrow."
"Thanks Remus."
A conversation between Remus and Hermione in Forbidden Love

"Roll a-round the Astronomy To-wer... Get-ting nak-ed in the show-er... the blouse is off - not far to go... It's time to see if she will blow! " – Ron Weasley, Guy Talk by Icarus

"They're like this all the time at school," Blaise said. "It's disgusting. Well, and hot, obviously. But it's so frustrating. Bicker, bicker, jump on each other, roll around, and then back they come bleating 'I'm not gay, Blaise, I'm not gay.' I call it pathetic. It's not like I haven't offered to role-play. I said, I can wear glasses, we can paint on a scar, it'll actually be kind of kinky, and he called me twisted. Can you believe that?" "Dancing Queen", Maya

Merlin knew that Severus could always be counted on letting his alligator mouth overloading his Chihuahua ass and then getting said ass pounded into the dirt - How Severus Spends His Summer Hols
by sevs_lil_secret ~

"Gryffindors, can't please them when you stop insulting them, aren't allowed to kill them in a slow and painful manner." -Draco Malfoy, GTS by beren.

I think Ron’s cheese has slipped off his cracker somewhere and he’s not playing with a full chess set anymore. – Bill Weasley, Sunset Over Britain by Bobmin

Severus watched as Draco sized Potter up as if he was a prize steer at the State Fair in Bumblefuck, U.S.A. – Joining Of Hands by Empathicsiren

It Gratifies me, sexually- Draco Malfoy- The Snitch Seaquence by Libertiane

“Drink this." He held the bottle out to Harry and Harry took it, eyeing it wearily. "It's a pain killer Harry, you should be able to tell that by the color and the scent. I do wish you'd pay better attention in Potions Potter."
"Why? I'm screwing the Potions Master," Harry offered with a smile. Snape rolled his eyes, but smiled at Harry as he drank the potion with a grimace. --- From 'Only 5 Before' by Jes Parker

"Holy blooming shitting scarabs!" Bill cursed as he stared at the three in amazement. – Bill Weasley, Learning and Teaching part 3, by Fyre Faerie

If it were not for all the people around him, Snape would probably have been singing at the top of his lungs and dancing on Voldemort’s dead carcass. – Staring Contest, Snow, And Kiddies. By Untouchable Life

Draco had made up his mind, and grindylows would fly out of Harry's arse before he managed to talk Draco around. – Pheonix Song, by xylodemon

I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't force-feed you at least one disturbing image a day.
-Berg (Viridan5's fanfic "Catching Up")

Speed looked at Horatio. "Your luggage decided it need an extended vacation and is now on its way to Japan.” – Meet The Speedles by BJ Jones

fear tried to make itself known again, but pleasure was on its game and gunned fear down like Rambo on pepper-up potion. – A Little Problem of Virginity By Beren

"No overexerting yourself. This means keeping the things you do at a bare minimum. Oh, don’t whine—yes, you can still do the laundry! Gods, but you’re obsessive." - Rule Three in 'A Stork For Sessha,' a Ruroni Kenshin fic by Imbrium Iridum

Harry was a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, surrounded by a headache! – thought by Romany in Sunset Over Britain

“Well I'll be dipped in shit,” – Sam the healer, Sunrise Over Britain

. Maybe sit for a bit and shoot the shit. – Jack Parsons (Dumbledore’s Army)

“You’ve got brass ones the size of bowling balls, Harry! I know veterans that would’ve had the Hershey squirts seeing that snake!” – Jack Parsons (Spiritus Crystalus)

“All you should worry about is teaching old Moldywart how to crap out of the new asshole you’re gonna give him!” – Jack Parsons (Spiritus Crystalus)

Hogwarts plants are mighty fine,
But Sprout says they are all mine.
Get your weed from Ponoma Sprout
She knows how to really put out!
- Spiritus Crystalus

I don’t know, but I’ve been told.
Voldie’s balls are made of mold!
I don’t know but it’s been said.
Hogwarts kids are best in bed!
Sound off
one two
Sound again
three four
Cadence count
one two three four!
- Spiritus Crystalus

The Weasley’s weren’t a family; they were an army with breeding capabilities far outweighing rabbits. – Spiritus Crystalus

"It's about time, too," said Harry, snuggling happily up to Snape's side and looking like a cheerful barnacle attached to a very stately and grumpy old ocean liner. – Flora & Fauna, By Amy

"I don't know what's worse, hormonal females or pussy-whipped Weasleys." Harry snickered, looking up from his book as Severus glanced towards him, a nonplussed look on his face as he added, "And you didn't hear that, Potter." Harry grinned and looked down at his book. "Hear what sir? I'm just sitting here reading my book." – Harry and Sev, Wrapped around his Finger

"What? You don't know what lomax demons are?" Two identical headshakes. "Think of them as an unholy cross between cats, ferrets and skunks. Fast as blazes, will steal anything shiny, and if cornered or threatened they spray like nothing you've ever smelled. Give these little guys twenty minutes or so and everything will be complete and utter chaos in Agartha's lair." Xander to Spike and Angel – Need by wolfshark

"Draco knows best, always listen to Draco" (Gold Tinted Spectacles by Beren)

“Yeah, right. Hoss, you straddle both sides of a fence long enough, you’re liable to get barbed wire wrapped around your balls.” – Nick to Warrick. Crunches by Shelley Russell

"As it happens, you're my definition of sexy," Orlando said. "But don't get any ideas. I just met you. I'm not a complete slut." From Stream by Bailey

"Daniel's a genius, he's opinionated, clueless, pissy, bossy, a workaholic, and he'll step in front of a gun to protect friggin' anyone, and you, my friend, are in for one hell of a ride." – Jack O’Neill to Teal’C - First Prime by Lady Ra

"Daniel, your IQ is several, as in many, points above Carter's. You're definitely not a slacker in that department. You could have done anything you wanted if you hadn't decided to have a brain meltdown and start believing in aliens." – Jack O’Neill to Daniel Jackson - First Prime by Lady Ra

Jack made a firm mental note to have a long talk with Daniel about his instinct for self-preservation, which made the average lemming look like a paranoid survivalist by comparison. – Diversion by Biblio

"You're meaner than a shark on crack." – John Sheppard to Rodney McKay (Long, Strange Trip by Mice)

Harry had two choices. Get buggered or kick the can. – Pretty Little Secrets by sparkley-tangerine

We're living on a floating city created by people thousands of years ago, and we're fighting man eating aliens who look like overgrown smurfs with dreadlocks. I think it's safe to say weird is okay. – John Shepperd to Rodney McKay (Do I Have To?… By finiz)

The Prometheus picking a fight with a Goa’uld mother ship was equivalent to a Pomeranian picking a fight with a Kodiak bear. – Crumpets Aren’t Really My Style by marz1

But Sam was just getting his first taste of warm blood, and listening to Mrs. Landingham's advice on same sex relationships and the importance of finding the right kind of lube. Which not only made him choke on what he was drinking and blush with a fury that matched Mount St. Helen's on a bad afternoon, it was also the kind of revelation that seemed rather akin to hearing your mother tell you that your father was a stud in bed. – Galileo Meets The Romans by White Wolf

“I have friends who are flamboyantly gay and friends that are straight as a stick and we all hang out, all the time, in all sorts of combinations, and no one thinks anything of it. We don’t act differently or have different expectations of each other when we go out. Sexuality doesn’t define us. Some of the straight guys fit the stereotypes for being gay and some of the gay guys fit the stereotypes of being straight. Do we care? No. The only difference it makes is who we tease when someone hot walks by.” – Michael Johnston (Family by Cat-77)

"No, I am the devil. Make a deal with me for a few hours of peace and end up having to pay you back when caught," replies Zelenka. (Radek to Rodney…..Not A Chick Flick by sirkate and bard_mercutio)

It's like Groundhog's Day: I'm stuck in a nightmare and every time I try to get out, something pops up again. – (Random acts of love by valerie)